My friend swans into brunch looking remarkably well-rested and relaxed.
She tucks the napkin into her lap, sighs happily, and launches into an endorsement of the amazing spa where she just spent a three day weekend.
“You’ve got to check it out, girl. You’re always talking about self-care, you deserve some yourself!”
I know. I KNOW. And I would love to book myself into Miraval for three days. Who wouldn’t?!
But between Halloween, the upcoming holidays, on-boarding new coaching clients, and prepping for a totally-outside-of-my-professional-comfort-zone product launch (stay tuned!) I don’t have the time, money, or energy for $1,300 a night spa stays that also require me to book a flight.
(Sidenote: I created a free workbook called 15 Ways To Find Time To Actually Practice Self-Care! Click here to download your copy.)
And for all my Moms out there, I get it—self-care can feel like the ultimate luxury. Like something you can only daydream about when the kids are in bed or during the rare “me-time” moment. But here’s the thing: slivers of self-care are the perfect antidote to the chaos of Motherhood (and life in general). These quick rituals don’t require spa weekends or getting away from it all. They’re micro-moments of self-love that you can squeeze into your day, no matter how packed it is. And trust me, taking a few moments to prioritize yourself—even when it’s just five minutes—can shift your entire energy.
If you’re in the same boat, here are 11 of my favorite ways to fit in tiny slivers of self-care in less than five minutes.
1- Open a window
Here in California, it’s open-window weather, well, almost year round. Cracking the window and getting some fresh air and hearing the birds makes spreadsheets, bill-paying, or meal prep a bit nicer.
2- Light a candle
I personally love these. Lighting a candle (especially on dark mornings or after sunset) makes things feel cozy and intentional, rather than “why am I up this early?!” depressing. It can also make an overcast, drizzly day feel lovely.
3- Slip into something more comfortable (literally)
The tight underwire bra, the shoes that pinch, the skirt that keeps riding up – these can all impact our moods to a surprising extent! It only takes a minute to put on a pair of cute yoga pants or slippers.
4- Put that food on a plate, eat it somewhere nice, without a screen
Plating your food (rather than eating it out of the tupperware, standing over the sink), takes 15 seconds max. If you’re feeling really fancy, add a decorative drizzle of olive oil, or something green on top.
Then take that plate out onto the patio, the deck, or just away from your desk and give your meal and yourself the attention they deserve.
5- Listen to a beloved song from your adolescence
Studies show that listening to music from our adolescence is often tied to positive memories of that time. So google “Top 40 songs of 2002” and luxuriate in Vanessa Carlton’s A Thousand Miles and your memories of low rise jeans. (Or 1995 and Collective Soul’s “December” as the case may be.)
6- Put on earrings (or lipstick)
Or whatever your personal version of “I’m making an effort” – a belt, high heels, a shirt with a collar. Enclothed Cognition is real and when we wear something we associate with being “put together” we feel better.
7- Set a timer and spend five minutes tidying up
You will be amazed by how much you can accomplish. You can even pair this with #5 and clean for the length of a favorite song!
8- Take a deep breath of an invigorating scent
Aromatherapy is an incredibly effective and affordable way to feel better fast. Aromatherapists generally agree that scents like sage, lemon, peppermint, jasmine, and cedarwood boost focus and creativity.
9- Stretch
I bet you’ve been sitting in a desk chair or hunching over a phone for multiple hours today, right? Or hauling around a toddler? I love this no-equipment-needed five-minute stretching routine.
10- Text a friend about a funny shared memory
Connecting with the people we love is a quick way to feel better and it strengthens our relationships in the long run (which is also self-care.) Text or message a friend about a funny memory you have of something you two did together.
11- Cuddle with your pet, partner or child
Cuddling with someone you love releases endorphins and a feel-good hormone called oxytocin. So give your kiddo, partner, or pup a cuddle and feel better in a few minutes!
But I want to hear from you! What did I miss – what’s your favorite five-minute self-care practice?
Empowered Womanhood: Reclaim Your Power in 5-Minute Rituals
Empowered womanhood doesn’t need to be a grand affair. It’s about taking back your power, even in the tiniest pockets of time. It’s putting your lunch on an actual plate. Opening the window. Changing out of the bra that’s been annoying you for three hours. Putting on lipstick for absolutely no reason. None of these things will change your life. But they might change the next five minutes. And sometimes, that’s enough.
Need some extra inspiration? Take a look at Harvard Health’s take on self-care and why it’s essential for your well-being. And when you’re ready to really make self-care a non-negotiable, grab my 15 Ways to Practice Self-Care Workbook—it’s a free, no-excuses guide to fitting self-care into your busy life.
She is the creator of The Motherhood Setup, a framework for understanding how the Motherhood Fantasy, Good Girl Conditioning, and Invisible Labor collide to leave so many Mothers overwhelmed. Her work asks what changes when we begin to make the invisible visible, Count the Work, and recognize Motherhood as both a joy and a job.
Explore Dr. Dowling's work on modern Motherhood