For many, many years I attached my happiness to a series of numbers:
The numbers on the scale.
The numbers in my bank account.
The numbers in my phone.
The number of friends on Facebook, the number of comments on a blog post, the number of retweets on Twitter.
Now, intellectually, I know this is ridiculous.
Happiness doesn’t come in numeric form …. but wouldn’t it be nice if it did? Wouldn’t it be nice if our emotional states dramatically improved once our income clicked over from $99,999 to $100,000 or when 200 people liked a blog post on Facebook – instead of 187?
But that’s not how it works.
There is no number, no quantifiable amount that’s attached to being ‘enough.’
The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy and enough now, in this moment.
Not when. Not if.
Right now. As is.
With no prerequisites.
So, so many of us fear making our ‘true selves’ known – and then having those true selves rejected. We become paralyzed by what others will think. We want to feel worthy of love and belonging and that worthiness is dependent on enough-ness.
We know that there’s no such thing as perfect, yet the majority of us (myself included!) think acting perfect will protect us, that it will mitigate life’s inevitable pain. We don’t trust that who we innately are (every imperfect inch) is cause for celebration. We spend heaps of precious energy trying to be everything to everyone and avoid rejection at all costs.
Here are two things I want you to know, sweet friend:
- Rejection makes space for The Right People
Rejection levels the playing field and leaves lots of gorgeous room for something better – dare I say BEST – to show up. When the people who don’t get you walk away, they’re making space at the table for those glorious, hilarious, authentic humans who do.Rejection makes your life easier. It declutters and clears and helps you hone and winnow your life down to the opportunities and humans who are right for you.
- We don’t really, actually admire perfection
Think of those bright souls in your life that you are literally drawn to. Are they perfect and without flaw? Do they like what everyone else likes? Do they say what everyone else says? I didn’t think so.
The truth is we love authenticity. We’re captivated by imperfect lives. We lean in to listen to a “messy” life story. Why? Because it reminds us of ourselves, it’s a mirror of our own imperfect + messy existence.
It allows us the opportunity to practice greater compassion for humanity and greater compassion, forgiveness + acceptance of our own imperfect selves.
Want to live a life full of love + enough-ness?
Cultivate the courage to be vulnerable and who you really, deeply are.
Share your quirks and mess ups with the people you love most.
Watch their faces and hearts open up. Watch them lean into your life.
Watch the feeling of enough expand in your everyday.
image credit: Lorna Jane