How to be Happy: 4 Words to Avoid If You Want a Happier Life

For years in my late twenties and very early thirties I felt stuck.
I had a career that no longer satisfied me,
a broken romantic relationship,
and an unhealthy relationship with food and money.
It seemed I’d inadvertently manifested the very life I’d been desperately trying to avoid.

What happened? I’d spent so much time focusing on what I didn’t want
that I didn’t have time to figure out what I actually wanted.

This realization was both stunning and unacceptable. It sent me on a journey to uncover who I was + what I actually wanted in life.
Once I had a clear vision, I began taking action.
That was more than ten years ago and my life today is completely (and wonderfully!) different.

These days:
The joy I feel about my career is plentiful + abundant.
I’m married to a lovely, inspiring man.
I have a loving, relaxed relationship with my body and with food.
I’m inspired and motivated to learn as much as possible!

Recreating your life can start in tiny ways.
Beginning with how we speak to ourselves. 

Words are powerful.
They can be used to manifest massive growth and positive change, but when we use them unconsciously, they can just as easily aid in creating a life we never wanted.

Eliminate these words to create a happier life:

1. Can’t

“You can’t sell your home + move to Paris!”
“You can’t quit your job!”
“You can’t spend your life coaching or traveling or writing!”
These are the things I was telling myself.

When you hear the word “can’t,” take a step back and affirm, “Yes, I can!”
Then create a list of all the reasons that you not only can but will.
These little shifts can serve as a huge catalyst towards manifesting the happier life you want.
Use words that solidify your dreams, not ones that encourage your fears.

2. Should

With all the reasons I wasn’t taking action in my life, I quickly came up with a laundry list of “should” statements.
“I should be happy in my relationship.”
“I should stay in this high-paying job.”
“I should feel understood by my parents/friends/co-workers.”

“Should” gives us an easy way to avoid looking inward and is often used in
statements that are rooted in fear. Ask yourself why you aren’t taking action in your life.
For every “should” you think of, once you maneuver through any guilt and shame, you’ll find fear.

Respect that fear. It has something to tell you. Lean into it. Mine it for the gem of wisdom.
Now it’s not fear anymore…it’s knowledge + you can begin moving in the direction of your dreams.

3. Maybe

This word indicates a lack of clarity and fear of commitment.
The clearer I became about what I wanted in life, the easier it was to make decisions in alignment with my dreams. I suddenly went from saying “Maybe I’ll go to graduate school”
to “I’m going to graduate school!”
“Maybe I’ll start my own life coaching business” became “I started my own life coaching business!”

Get clear on what you want and really dig deep into your commitment to it.
A happier life is within your reach + control.

4. But

“I would quit my job, but…”
“My girlfriend is great, but…”
“I’d love to write a book, but …”

Just be honest.
If you have no intention of quitting your job, stop saying why you “would if you could.”
The minute you really want something “I would” becomes “I will.”

Being honest is a critical step towards manifesting the life of your dreams.
Figure out what you want and start making clear and succinct statements about it.

Our words shape our deeds and our deeds shape our lives. 

When you change the way you talk to yourself, you begin to change the way you navigate life and the way you make your dreams happen.

Your life can be amazing.
You just need to find the right words to describe it.


How to Find the Perfect Partner (+ a Free Download)

How to Find the Perfect Partner

Maybe you’ve heard of these mythical creatures. Or seen them in movies. Perhaps your best friend/sister/neighbor is even dating one. The Perfect Partner. They always clean up after themselves. They plan surprise weekend getaways. They buy sweet, thoughtful gifts and spontaneous bouquets. They say things like “I’m so lucky to be with you” and “You’re […]

Read More

34 Unique Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day

34 Unique Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day for Singles or Couples

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. This can be such a challenging day — for both singles and couples alike — And even the most bodacious babe can find herself feeling a little down on February 14th. It doesn’t matter whether you’re single or hitched for life; if your one and only doesn’t show […]

Read More

Why We Stay in a Relationship (Way) Too Long

Ending a Relationship & Why We Stay In Relationships Too Long

You know how it goes – how it feels. You know the thoughts that trip through your head. Maybe I’m just in a bad mood. Maybe this is just the reality of long term relationships and I need to be more realistic. Maybe if I (or both of us) try harder, it will feel right. […]

Read More

How to Trust Yourself + Your Struggle (3 Irrefutable Truths)

How to Trust Yourself + Your Struggles

Me: I’ve had a bumpy road. You: Who hasn’t? Me: True. I hear ya. You: So whattya think about it all? Me: I think a lot of things. (Including how much it’s sucked at times) But mostly I think about what a fascinating education it has been. Spiritual ass-kicking at it’s finest; Soul-work for the […]

Read More

You Can Have What You Want & You Can Have It Now

How to become more successful and have what you want right now

You are inspirational powerful beyond measure and ready to step into a future that looks nothing like your past. My only mission is to help you become more successful than you’ve ever dreamed possible by adding more ease and flow to your life. I do this by helping you reframe old beliefs and stories and […]

Read More

A Gift to You, as Thanks from Me

I already have my plans for New Year’s Eve. I’ll be spending it the way I’ve spent the last several—snuggled up at home with the people I love. There will be yoga pants and good food. I sense my dancing on the table days are gone, and my soul finds so much pleasure in these […]

Read More

7 Gifts That Give Back

7 Gift Ideas That Truly Show Your Love | Gifts that Give Back

Gift giving is an expression of love. It doesn’t have to be shallow. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It doesn’t have to be materialistic. Gifts are a love language, because giving them is an opportunity to not only show your appreciation for and celebration of someone, but also to show that you truly know […]

Read More

5 Ways to Destress for Free

5 Ways to Destress for Free

Stress. We’ve all felt it. We stress about work. About bills. About love (or our lack thereof). We stress about those things we can control and those things we cannot. Stress, it seems, is a natural part of human life—but it doesn’t have to run your life. It doesn’t need to be enduring. We don’t […]

Read More

5 Secrets For Finding More Genuine Love

5 Secrets For Finding More Genuine Love

Love. It’s the one thing we’re all seeking. From the youngest to the oldest among us, we’re all looking to love and be loved—and often making the process a lot harder than it needs to be. Unlike what you might read on the cover of the latest women’s magazine, finding love doesn’t necessarily require joining […]

Read More