Here are some things I’ve done that have offended people:
a) voiced my political opinions
b) taken a few fries off their plate
c) used the wrong pronoun
d) worn white jeans and sequins when I ‘should’ have been wearing a dark, subtle suit
If you’re alive, breathing, with blood pulsing through your veins, you’ve offended someone.
And maybe that made you reconsider voicing your opinion or sequins at lunch time.
But here’s the thing: acting like someone or something you’re not is exhausting.
Transparency, on the other hand, is hot.
Trying to maintain a delicate image will deplete you of precious life force.
Eventually, you will bleed out heaps of spiritual, emotional, and physical strength.
This, dear one, is unsustainable.
An image built on smoke and mirrors is fleeting and cumbersome.
Authenticity is rock solid.
“But what will they think of me–if I’m just me!?” you quietly wonder.
No bells and whistles?
No razzle dazzle?
Just spot on, accurately and precisely you.
Want to experience more everyday joy and quiet the voices in your head?
Then courageously decide to care more about being exquisitely, exactly who you are
than caring what we think about you.
Know ahead of time that we won’t all like you.
We won’t all agree. We might vehemently disagree!
Some of us might downright refuse to celebrate or back you up.
We might decide, for whatever reason, we are just not rooting for what you doing.
We’ll reject you.
And this is just fine.
Expect to offend some people.
If you’re not ruffling feathers then you’re not going big enough. Tweet this!
The starting point for crafting a life you love is to live in
“Who am I”
not
“How can I make everyone happy?”
Your foundation must be built on the core of who you truly, definitely are.
Be bold enough to tell us what makes you tick.
When you consistently show up bathed in authenticity you make it easier on us.
We know where to find you. You build trust.
And you’d be surprised how many of us do want to support + celebrate your ambitions.
You will always be too much of something or too little of something for someone.
Be you anyway.
Photo by Erin East on Unsplash
+++++++++++++++
Dr. Dowling has spent years helping people live richer, more joyful lives. She has seen firsthand the magical pairing of psychology and life coaching, which allows people to access their happiest selves.
View Dr. Dowling's articles on Mindbodygreen
- Maybe I’d be Happier with Someone Else? - Apr 25, 2023
- Mastering An Attitude Of Gratitude & How to Maintain Feeling Grateful - Mar 28, 2023
- How Do I Find Joy in Life? - Feb 24, 2023
Thanks for this reminder. Starting a new project and got some harsh “feedback” yesterday. Needed to remember that I will not be everyone’s cup of tea. And that is okay!
Hi Danielle! I just heard you on The Wardrobe Code podcast, and I wanted to come visit your website. I absolutely love this post. One of my greatest challenges in life is to stop worrying about what other people are going to think/say about me. Intuitively, I know that not everyone is going to like me, but that perfectionist, people-pleaser in me is desperate to ensure that everyone I meet likes me. It’s exhausting to try to make everyone like you. Plus, it doesn’t work! No matter how hard I try, no matter what I change about myself to try and bend to someone’s liking, there is STILL going to be someone out there who won’t like me. I’m learning to tell myself that it’s okay. If someone doesn’t like me, I’ll survive. My life will go on! Thanks for this encouragement to just be me.