5 Secrets For Finding More Genuine Love

More genuine love


It’s the one thing we’re all seeking. From the youngest to the oldest among us, we’re all looking to love and be loved—and often making the process a lot harder than it needs to be.

Unlike what you might read on the cover of the latest women’s magazine, finding love doesn’t necessarily require joining Tinder or changing up your wardrobe. It’s about making powerful shifts in your mind and in your heart that will open you up to fully receive the love that you’re seeking. And trust me, it’s much easier than it sounds.

My five favorite tips for opening yourself up to more love:

1. First Forgive Yourself

Forgiveness is a spiritual practice, and an ongoing one. It is one of the most powerful and profound shifts we can make when working to attract anything—more love, more money, more success—into our lives. And so, forgiving yourself (for being single, for making mistakes in past relationships, for not finding love sooner) is the first powerful step in the process of opening yourself up to more love.

Until this moment in your life, you have been doing the best that you knew how to do. Forgive yourself for not knowing more, for not understanding better—and feel yourself open up to greater possibility now that you do.

2. Know What You Want

This may seem like an obvious one, but it’s important: Do you know the love you want to receive? One of the key aspects to manifesting anything in your life is to get clear on exactly what it is you want—and opening yourself up to more love is no different. It’s not enough to just say, “I am open to it.” What are you open to? What sort of love do you want to receive? What does it look like, sound like, feel like? Who are you when you receive that sort of love? Get clear on what you want, so the Universe knows exactly what to bring you.

3. Know Why You Want It

Knowing your “why” is a common adage in business, with the point being that there should be a focused and strategic purpose behind the work that you’re doing. I would argue that the same holds true when opening up to love, too.

When you’re clear about why you want what you want, you can ensure that it’s coming from a healthy (and not fear-based place). You will also know very quickly once you’ve manifested the love you so desired—even if it came in a different form than you expected—because you’ll recognize the purpose behind that desire.

4. Focus on Positive Feelings

This may not come as a surprise to you—but focusing on the negative will only bring you more of the same. So instead of lamenting that you’ll never find love or that so-and-so was a jerk who broke your heart or that “all men” or “all women” are XYZ, start focusing on the positive instead! More specifically, focus on the positive feelings that love brings into your life—and start living in those feelings now!

If receiving love will make you feel happy, successful, or seen, then find ways to incorporate those feelings into your life on a regular basis. Once you start living those positive feelings, you’ll start attracting more of them (and more love!) into your life.

5. Let It Go

And now, let it go. It seems counter-intuitive, I know, but trying to cling to and control an outcome leaves no room in the realm of what’s possible for you. You have shifted your mindset, you have gotten clear on what you want—and you have let the Universe know about it! Now, your only job is to stay open to what’s possible, to stay curious about the signs, and to proactively pursue the right opportunities, knowing that the love you’re destined to receive is on its way to you.

What’s one way you will open yourself up to more love today? Share your thoughts in the comments below!



  1. Ms. Dowling,
    Pretty sure this isn’t a recent blog. However, it was very timely in what I am experiencing. There are no coincidences, things appear when you need them to. This is reinforcing that I will get through my current situation. The hardest thing is to forgive yourself for past mistakes. I look myself in the mirror daily to remember to be gentle with myself. That it’s ok. That today is today, and take each moment as they come. The negative thoughts are just a moment, don’t dwell. Be as gentle with yourself as you would with friends. Handling myself with kid gloves until I get stronger. So thank you for this article. It was a sign of heading along the right path. Much love, light, and blessings to you.

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