A Fresh Take on Expectations vs. Anticipation
You know what makes me anxious? Unmet expectations.
You too?
Expectations rarely help me meet my true intention: to feel good.
Expectation, as I see it, is tying your feelings to whether something happens a certain way, or whether someone else acts a certain way. And when those expectations aren’t met, which happens a lot, disappointment, frustration, even outrage, show up.
Why Anticipation Feels Better Than Expectation
Here’s the good news: there’s a lighter, high-vibrancy alternative to expectation.
It’s called anticipation.
Anticipation is a feeling of wonder and curiosity about what might happen. Think Christmas morning or your birthday as a kid: you don’t know exactly what gifts you’ll unwrap, but you feel excited because you trust they’ll be good.
Anticipation has nothing to do with controlling outcomes. Instead, it’s about choosing to see your life with a sense of wonder. When wonderful things happen, you feel gratitude and delight — and that creates even more anticipation and even more wonderful things.
The Sneaky Tripwire: Comparison
So, how do we avoid the pitfalls of expectation and stay open to the magic of anticipation?
Here’s the biggest trap: comparison.
I know… it’s been written about endlessly. But here’s something fresh: comparisons come before expectations.
See if this sounds familiar:
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You notice someone else’s success or circumstance.
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You start wishing you had the same.
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Then you think: “Wait, I’ve worked hard. I deserve that too. By next month, I expect it to be mine.”
Cue the huffing, sighing, stomping, or sharp words. Friend, that’s been me more times than I can count. And the irony? Often, right before I slipped into comparison, I was perfectly content. Comparison changed that in an instant.
Does that feel true for you, too?
The Empowered Choice
The moral of the story? Avoid comparison and you’ll stop the cycle before it even begins. Without comparison, you don’t slide down expectation lane — and you stay grounded in anticipation, curiosity, and delight. That’s where empowerment lives.
So How Does All of This Relate to Empowered Womanhood?
Empowerment isn’t about living without expectations or never slipping into comparison. It’s about noticing when we do, and then choosing a different way forward.
For women, that often means catching ourselves in the spiral of “shoulds” and “not enoughs” — and instead leaning into anticipation, curiosity, and delight. That’s where the real power is.
True empowerment comes when we stop measuring ourselves against others, when we let go of rigid outcomes, and when we open our hands to what’s possible. Honoring our humanity, embracing the unknown, and staying rooted in wonder? That’s where the magic happens.
Empowered womanhood isn’t about perfection. It’s about choosing anticipation over expectation — and trusting ourselves enough to live in that freedom.
Warmly,
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She is the creator of The Motherhood Setup, a framework for understanding how the Motherhood Fantasy, Good Girl Conditioning, and Invisible Labor collide to leave so many Mothers overwhelmed. Her work asks what changes when we begin to make the invisible visible, Count the Work, and recognize Motherhood as both a joy and a job.
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