How to Accept Yourself – 4 Steps to Self Acceptance

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Self-acceptance is the act of embracing all that you are, where you are and how you are.  It’s the ability to acknowledge and find peace with what is while also looking forward in anticipation of what can be.

I’ve never been particularly “good” at this but then again few are, yes? It seems our desire to be over “there” while being over here is prevalent and stirs up much internal distraction. We yearn to find ourselves at the finish line of our deepest intentions and in doing so miss the ever so lovely path along the way. Intrusive thoughts such as, “when I lose the weight, make the money, find the love, then I can be happy and content,” run amuck, slowing down the arrival of what you desire most.

When you want to be over there from the place of feeling disappointed and disillusioned with over here you temporarily slow down the flow of the abundance you seek.

As you find peace and acceptance with what is, you uplift your mood and vibration and as you uplift your energy and outlook you become a better match to the dreams of your heart. It is then the flow of abundance and inspiration once again picks up speed.

The thinking mind will demand that finding peace with a potentially disappointing “what is” will slow progress and keep you stuck in this displeasing reality forever. “Well, if I’m OK with what is, nothing will ever change,”  the ego stammers! And yet, the exact opposite is true, because what you love loves you back. Am I suggesting you must absolutely LOVE your body, bank account, divorce, state of anger, depression etc.? No, I’m not, and yet, I encourage you to show it love through the lens of acknowledgement and acceptance.

I do my best to utilize the following process when practicing self-acceptance and thereby unlocking the flow of abundance once more.

4 Steps To Welcoming the Flow of Abundance


Rather than trying to force a not-so-good feeling away, compassionately allow yourself to feel upset. Know that when discomfort is felt as it arises, it will subside more quickly. Embrace the moment with the mantra: “I am where I am and that’s alright.” Equivalent to dropping an emotional anchor, this intention says: I accept the whole of me in my experience of me in this moment. I will not make it wrong or inconvenient. I will not deny it or reject it, rather, I will show it and myself love by acknowledging its presence.”

If you don’t feel positive, stuffing a bunch of feel-good thoughts and feel-good feelings down your throat won’t be believable, even if you tried. Authentically feeling good is key to the graceful manifestation of all you desire.

You see, The Universe does not respond to our words or to how we’re pretending to feel, but rather to how we really feel! Therefore, try as one might to “put on a happy face,” The Universe cannot be outsmarted. We must begin with the next best feeling, and sometimes, friend, that’s feeling a little less bad or neutral.

  • 2. “I would like to feel a little bit better.”

After a good pout and sulk, set the intention to feel a little bit better. Acknowledge this truth: Well, you know what’s NOT going to help in the long run? Continuing to tell myself this is hard and difficult and unfair. Because what I want most is the whole experience to be easy and fluid and aligned with well-being for me and all involved.

After which state with clarity and conviction: “I would like to feel a little bit better.”  Doing so signals to Universe your choice to initiate an energetic pivot back into feeling-good and that it can now begin to also help you do so. You are molding and managing your energy so as to direct Universal energy in your favor. This IS how it works, folks!

You’re in charge.

You call the shots.

You decide which way the energy will flow or not flow based on what you are choosing to focus on.

  • 3. Write a list of “Joy Gems” about the topic you are trying to accept more fully.

Rarely is an area of our lives “all bad.” Often there are positive attributes, even if “just” valuable lessons learned about the topic we are feeling quite disgruntled by. Bringing awareness to these aspects helps foster energetic equilibrium. Your thoughts on the topic improve and feel better and as your thoughts improve, your feelings will also feel better. Ideally, you find yourself once again feeling hopeful, optimistic and encouraged.

Consider these question prompts when you do so:
What can I feel encouraged by?
What do I appreciate?
What could I feel good about?
What have I learned on this topic that I am willing to celebrate?

  • 4. If you can’t write a list of Joy Gems, do your best to not think about the topic.  Rather, intend on looking for and appreciating “dazzles” in your day.  

You may not be in a space to notice what you like about the displeasing topic at hand, yet you can choose to notice what else there is to like and feel good about. Enter the “dazzle” practice.

A dazzle, as I see it, is a high vibrational, happy event, circumstance, experience, affirmation, awareness or realization. Basically, a dazzle is anything awesome and of abundance that is worth paying attention to and reveling in.

As we pay attention to awesomeness, we attract, do and become more awesomeness. For The Law of Creation clearly states that like attracts like and we get more of what we’re focused on. Therefore, there’s no truer manifestation formula than: Feeling good thoughts + feeling good feelings = manifesting the desires of one’s heart.

There is always something to feel delighted and encouraged by. Choose to put your focus there, and as you do, you will elevate your mood. And as you elevate your mood, you will naturally feel more at ease with the rest of your life.

It’s a powerful desire of mine that you return to a state of self-appreciation. A space and place where you can feel a deep love for yourself, those around you and this exquisite life you have chosen to live. For it was your choice to come and be here, just as it can be your choice to accept and embrace where you are while absorbing the knowledge the experience has taught you.

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