If You Want Something, Ask

ask

“Ask and ye shall receive.”

Try it.

Enough with the vacillating.
Extinguish the proverbial second guess.
You deserve what you want.

So speak up.

Few people are mind readers.  We can’t expect others to just “know.” When you cease to express your needs, wants, and desires, you suspend the right to be disappointed when you don’t get what you want.

Ask your manager, the universe, your lover, the saleswoman, the barista behind the Starbucks counter.

Asking for what you want will make today easier on you.
And on everyone.

Consider making ease a measurement of success.
The recipe for getting anything you want:  be concise + be genuine + be passionate.

The outcome?  Positive receptivity.

The people in your life want to help you. They want to give you what you want.

Here’s where + how to start:

1. Be Concise:
Write out a short email, a paragraph or less. The perfect phone call sounds like this:  “Hi, my name is Danielle and I have admired your work for over a year now. I’m interested in getting your perspective on a creative idea I have. Would you have 15 or 20 minutes to listen and provide feedback on whether it sounds viable and valuable?”  Bam! Respectful of their time and to the point.

2. Be genuine  (No shady-ness, yo) +  specific with your request.
Know your strengths.  Your weaknesses.  Don’t tell half-truths.  Start with the whole truth – anything else gets us off on the wrong foot. This also means knowing what you want.  Do you know what you need?  Think about it before you approach someone. 

3.  If you care, they care.  Passion is a magnetic force.
Don’t give a 10-year history of your project. All you need to say “I do this because I have too. I have no choice.  It’s my calling.”

Isn’t that breathtakingly, life-alteringly easy? When you’re brave enough to (respectfully, honestly, clearly) ask for what you want, you will be amazed at the things that life will give you.

No mind reading required.

*************************

WORK WITH ME.

I’m a Los Angeles based relationship expert + life coach.
But show up ready.
This is life at full tilt.

Do you have a pesky question burning a hole in your pocket? Email me at
d@danielle-dowling.com to submit a letter for my Smart Advice column.
Identities strictly confidential-of course.

© 2012 Danielle Dowling

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