Editor’s Note (2025)
This piece was first written in 2012, when I was challenging the idea that “balance” was the gold standard for women leaders. My perspective has evolved since then, but I’ve kept this post in the Archives because it marks a turning point—where I began to shift from striving for balance to pursuing passion, alignment, and deeper satisfaction.
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Life Balance Is Overrated
For the last month I’ve been haunted by my own tagline:
“Helping Women Leaders Balance Professional Success + Love.”
Mostly, I loved it. Sparkly, gorgeous, affirming.
But the word balance kept gnawing at me.
Because here’s the truth: I’m not sure I believe in balance.
I don’t know one woman who would claim that her life feels “balanced.” Even the ones whose lives look divine from the outside—ask her, and you’ll hear a different story.
The attempt to attain balance is stressful. Exhausting, even. But following your gut and leaning into what brings you genuine joy? That’s where the satisfaction lives.
What are you passionate about?
Do more of that.
Moment to moment, breath to breath. And forget about trying to stack your life into tidy compartments: work ambition, family time, exercise, clean eating, friend nurturing, romantic devotion.
The more you invest in what energizes and expands you, the more ease you’ll experience. The universe responds to passion, not perfection.
THIS is the equation for bliss and fulfillment.
How do I know? Because I don’t live a balanced life.
:: I shuttle to graduate school classes multiple times a week.
:: I’m writing a 100-page dissertation on attachment theory.
:: I write here, for you, and for other publications.
:: I network, often tired, sometimes polished, sometimes not.
:: I’m dating a man who gracefully navigates my inevitable exhaustion.
:: My car trunk holds a gym bag, a school bag, a purse, and shoes in need of repair.
Am I happy? Absolutely.
Balanced? Not even close.
And I don’t believe you need balance to be happy either.
Balance is an uphill battle that gleefully evades us. Why fight it? Prioritize what is paramount instead of chasing equilibrium.
A life centered around passion looks different than one organized around balance. It’s “go big or go home.” It’s creative exhaustion and deep rest, in waves.
Recover. Restore. Repeat.
When you focus on what you love most, you move beyond balance into something far richer:
Satisfaction.
She is the creator of The Motherhood Setup, a framework for understanding how the Motherhood Fantasy, Good Girl Conditioning, and Invisible Labor collide to leave so many Mothers overwhelmed. Her work asks what changes when we begin to make the invisible visible, Count the Work, and recognize Motherhood as both a joy and a job.
Explore Dr. Dowling's work on modern Motherhood
- Do You Need a Life Coach—or Just One Really Good Coaching Session? - Oct 5, 2026
- Decision Fatigue: Why Your Brain Feels So Overloaded - Sep 28, 2026
- Good Girl, Bad Mom: For Every Mom Who’s Ever Felt Imperfect - Sep 25, 2026