On having more sex, renouncing the past + wild synchronicity

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If you were to look up ‘synchronicity’ in the dictionary you’d see:
“the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated or unlikely to occur together by chance and that are observed to occur together in a meaningful manner”

I say: synchronicity means embracing contradictions.

Interested in a life of elated coming-together-ness.  Snapping into place-ness?  Who isn’t.  Contradiction is lovely.  Celebrate it and pave the way to the balance you seek.  We all seek.

So do it + do it now.

It is:
Electric ambition + decadent reflection.
Indulgence + discipline.
Knowing when to let go + when to hold on tighter.

Splurge on that new pair of “got-to-have-em” shoes.
Open a 401K account.

Toss out mediocrity + procrastination.
Take the afternoon off.

Wear your favorite lipstick – while doing the dishes.

Pull out the good clothes–rationed for special occasions–
make them your new work wardrobe.

Quit already.

Listen instead.
But know when to tune ‘em out.  (When it’s toxic.  Or dark.)

Don’t plan this one.  Feel your way through it first.
Then plan.

Leave.  When your heart tells you to.

Declare that today IS “one-day.”

Use your good wine glasses everyday.  For wine.  For water.  For levity.

Scrap logic.  Invite your imagination.

Don’t text.  Call instead.
We are creatures that exist best when in true dialogue with others.
Choose to really connect.

Donate your old jeans; clean out your “sweats” drawer + purchase some comfy but flattering
hang out clothes.  Wink in approval as you pass the mirror.

Order the pasta tonight.
Stretch your legs + lungs with a brisk walk tomorrow.

Don’t second guess.
But remain open to growth +  the exquisite expansion of self.

Keep going.   With potential failure + fear at your heels: k-e-e-p  g-o-i-n-g.

Commit to smoldering sex.  To frequent sex. Indulge your extravagant, wild side.  Be playful + receiving. Breathe them in.  Suspend self-criticism.

Don’t justify your feelings.  Really. Don’t.

Shelve the mental gymnastics + immerse yourself in the creative -whatever that means for you:
a movie, a walk in nature, writing, painting, reading or running.

Support others to stay the course of their truth.  Giving begets giving – they will support you right back.

Haul your attention away from the past.
End the recapitulating of old hurts + judgments .
Penetrate the present. Stay on purpose.  On target.

Do it + do it now.

+++++++++

I’m a Los Angeles based relationship counselor + life coach. I offer a sharp combination of keen insight, know-how + intuition.   Want more life + dating advice?  Jump on my newsletter.   Interested in laser focused one-on-one treatment?   Hire me.  You won’t regret it.

Do you have a pesky question burning a hole in your pocket? Email me at
d@danielle-dowling.com to submit a letter for my Smart Advice column.
Identities strictly confidential-of course.

© 2012 Danielle Dowling

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