This is one of many ‘Our Love Story’ interviews, in which we talk to different couples about how they met and how they make their relationship work, day in and day out. This is the story of Mark and Lisa.*
How did you meet your husband?
We lived in the same apartment building my last summer of college. My roommates and I accidentally had our mail forwarded to his apartment. When we went to tell him and see if we could leave it that way, he answered the door without a shirt. But, we haven’t been together the entire time since then. In fact, our first date wasn’t for 5 months, and it didn’t lead to another date for a long time.
What was your relationship history before you met your husband?
I dated, but no one seriously.
Did you make an active choice to get married later in life?
No. I thought most people got married in their 20s. When a cousin married at 29, my family told me there was hope for me!
Were you ever concerned that you weren’t going to get married?
My husband and I broke-up and didn’t speak for almost four years. During that time, I did think I might not get married. Eventually, I realized was OK with remaining single, and knew I had great friends and family, who would be my support.
How have the people in your life reacted to your relationship?
They are very happy for us. When we announced our engagement, I think our families were almost in disbelief.
What makes your relationship work?
We’ve been friends for a very long time and know how to put-up with each other.
What are the benefits to getting married later in life?
I like to say I avoided my first divorce! I know several people who married young and they didn’t real know themselves or were too immature to handle a serious relationship. Maturity makes it easier to compromise.
Not that it really matters, but those of us who get married later in life usually have a bigger diamond!
Are there any drawbacks?
If you want to have children, the wait makes it harder to do it naturally. (But, I think older parents tend to be calmer and appreciate their children more.) In reality, there aren’t any drawbacks.
What advice would you give to other people who are afraid that marriage isn’t going to happen for them?
When you accept yourself in the place you are at that moment, you will be open-up to what life can throw at you next. And that balance and acceptance makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. I’ve seen it several times. No one is attracted to a person “looking” for marriage.
Thanks for sharing, Lisa and Mark!
* names have been changed
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© 2012 Danielle Dowling