“I want to be an entrepreneur and sell this product and/or service that is so close to my heart, but I don’t want to deal with rejection.”
“I want to lose the last couple pounds and nurture a body I feel strong and healthy in but I’m not willing to commit to the workouts or give up sugar.”
“I want to fall deeply in love but want to be sure I won’t get my heart hurt in the process.”
You don’t get to do just the good stuff. You know this, of course, but I’m guessing like me, you forget. Secretly we can find ourselves thinking: “If life were really fair and if I was really deserving so many unpleasant things wouldn’t happen to me.” Yet, if being brutally honest with yourself, you know this is not the course and cadence of human existence.
Never has been.
Never will be.
Everything about our history points to the exquisite interplay of pain and pleasure, light and dark.
I suggest “exquisite” because there is meaning and purpose in pain just as there is in joy. 
Inner peace is actually predicated upon a realistic approach to the uncertainties and fears that pervade our lives. If we can treat fear and the unknown as a fact, not some personal failing, then we have the chance to learn from the inevitable slings and arrows that come our way.
How do you do this? When the tough parts come along, the unfair breaks and the rejection, it makes sense to welcome them. Instead of throwing your hands up in the air and cursing or avoiding the down moments, understand they mean you’re doing difficult, soul shifting, worthwhile work, not merely numbing your way through life. You’ve chosen to take part in the reality that is called life, not some unsustainable fantasy.
We can’t deny the difficult parts.
The very being or experience you’re seeking only exists because of the whole,
we have no choice but to welcome it all.
Go courageously,
xx
D.
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Dr. Dowling has spent years helping people live richer, more joyful lives. She has seen firsthand the magical pairing of psychology and life coaching, which allows people to access their happiest selves.
View Dr. Dowling's articles on Mindbodygreen
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- How Do I Find Joy in Life? - Feb 24, 2023