“I shouldn’t be into him, but I totally am. Shouldn’t I be looking for someone
who makes more money?”
“That corner office. I want it. I feel bad for letting my ambition consume me, but I
want my name on that door more than I want anything else.”
“Everyone I know is settling down. I guess I should start looking for someone stable
to build a life with but I’m enjoying just dating and pursuing my career.”
“My gut instinct is telling me I can work less at my day job + transition to my passion project. But my family keeps telling me not to quit yet.”
Stop it, already.
Really it’s enough.
Enough with feeling guilty for wanting to feel the way you want to feel
and for wanting what you want.
Try it.
It will be epiphany-esque.
If you want to be head-over-heels, wedding-headed, house buying in love?
Own it.
If you want to climb the corporate ladder, make millions, supervise armies
of clever people?
You’re allowed.
If you want to paint a nursery, purchase tiny socks, rock your own baby to sleep?
You can.
If you are ready to leave the cubicle maze behind + spark the fire of an entrepreneurial life?
Pursue it.
These feelings, wants + needs are all equally valid
And equally poetic.
So end the feeling guilty
It will be really liberating.
Try this mantra: “I matter and my desires and goals matter. Whatever they are. I give myself full permission to want what I want.”
When we’re honest with ourselves, others and the universe about
how we feel and what we want, life altering shifts happen.
Many of us were brought up within a certain conditioning where it was OK to want some things but not want other things. I have witnessed a lot of judgement in our community around what desires are OK and which are not and it results in much individual pain.
This angst is SO unnecessary. Let’s do ourselves and our sisters a big favor and drop the judgement so we can also drop the guilt!
You get to be you and we all agree not to have a judgement on anyone’s desires including our own.
The more we can really support women in being their unique selves the happier we will all be because the world will be that much of a better place.
So follow the inertia of your very authentic feelings.
Your gut knowing.
Let it tumble over itself a bit.
It may be there to restore you, delight, educate or caution you.
Regardless of how it unfolds, it’s there for its own perfect reason.
And that’s good. Very good.
Dr. Dowling has spent years helping people live richer, more joyful lives. She has seen firsthand the magical pairing of psychology and life coaching, which allows people to access their happiest selves.
View Dr. Dowling's articles on Mindbodygreen
- Maybe I’d be Happier with Someone Else? - Apr 25, 2023
- Mastering An Attitude Of Gratitude & How to Maintain Feeling Grateful - Mar 28, 2023
- How Do I Find Joy in Life? - Feb 24, 2023