Why Really WANTING Breeds Love+ Possibility

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Reveal your deepest wish.
State your case. Petition the universe.
Suspend your disbelief and silence your judgment.
Engage every fiber of your soul in wanting what you want.
Clarify it — down to a single word. And make that word an intention.

FACT #1 : It’s your right to arrive + be acknowledged. To be valued. To be loved.

But …
… The stars haven’t aligned in the past?
Screw the past.
But …
… You’ve made mistakes. You’ve chosen — wrong?
So what. You get a thousand second chances.

Really wanting what you want gives you the power to transform potential into reality.
Firmly declaring: “This is what I want. This is what I am committed too.” Literally changes your behavior. It influences your psyche. When you invest in yourself at that level your intention creates a potent and life-affirming gravitational field. This field will boldly + precisely pull in outside assistance in your favor. People, meetings, “by chance” run-ins, phone calls, emails, romance–all at your doorstep.

Think of it like MAGIC. (B-I-N-G)

Feeling a little timid, you say? Comfortable “enough” right where you are?

FACT #2: if you don’t alchemize your deepest desires into reality, life will never feel quite right. Ever.
An essential piece of you will remain unfulfilled. Stale. Brittle. Bitter. Dusty.
(Sorry. ‘Tis true)

FACT #3: it may hurt. There might be tears. Perhaps rejection. Probably failure.
Lean into your wanting, anyway.
Gush over your gut instincts.
Supercharge your wishes. Welcome your allies. Be your own lodestar.
With fear + uncertainty at your heels: S-t-r-e-t-c-h.

This, I suppose, would be an excellent moment to provide a small but precise formula on how to leap from “maybe later, someday, I want to, BUT…”
Sorry, Charlie. No sort of formula exists.  No script.  No sacred secret exists for euthanizing “wishy-washy-wanting” + embracing “Hell, yeah! WANT”

But if I were you I’d start with giving some real attention to your gut instincts around career, romance + self. And when I say attention…I don’t mean in between texts and tweets about what amazing yoga class you took at lunch. Turn everything off and have the cajones to sit in some deep, de-lici-oso silence. BE with yourself + let the “want” rise up into your consciousness.  Your heart.  Your head.

What do you REALLY want from your life-partner, boyfriend? Do you date only this type of man or compromise to eliminate the risk of being alone?

What do you REALLY want to do, as a career? Maybe it is not what you have invested the last decade in. (It’s OK to begin a new adventure–scrap the past)

Freedom to want what you want is power-playing, your ace in the hole.

What you want is not simply what you get.  It’s where you’ll be.  It’s who you will be.

So work on getting clear on what you want.

Then circle back to the top of this page and lean into it.


I’m a Los Angeles based relationship counselor + life coach. I offer a sharp combination of keen insight, know-how + intuition.   Want more life + dating advice?  Jump on my newsletter.   Interested in laser focused one-on-one treatment?   Hire me.  You won’t regret it.

© 2011 Danielle Dowling