Editor’s Note: This post is from 2011, when I was first beginning to write about clarity and desire. It’s raw, but it planted seeds that still guide my work today.
***
Reveal your deepest wish. State your case. Petition the universe. Suspend your disbelief and silence your judgment. Engage every fiber of your soul in wanting what you want. Clarify it — down to a single word. And make that word an intention.
FACT #1: It’s your right to arrive and be acknowledged. To be valued. To be loved.
But…
…the stars haven’t aligned in the past? Screw the past.
…you’ve made mistakes or chosen “wrong”? So what. You get a thousand second chances.
Really wanting what you want gives you the power to transform potential into reality. Declaring: “This is what I want. This is what I am committed to” literally changes your behavior. It influences your psyche. When you invest in yourself at that level, your intention creates a potent and life-affirming gravitational field. This field will boldly and precisely pull in outside assistance: people, meetings, “by chance” run-ins, phone calls, emails, romance—all arriving at your doorstep.
Think of it like magic.
Still feeling timid? Comfortable “enough” right where you are?
FACT #2: If you don’t alchemize your deepest desires into reality, life will never feel quite right. An essential piece of you will remain unfulfilled. Stale. Brittle. Bitter. Dusty. Research shows that people who live aligned with their sense of purpose enjoy greater well-being and resilience
FACT #3: It may hurt. There might be tears. Perhaps rejection. Probably failure. Expect this. And…lean into your wanting anyway. Gush over your gut instincts. Supercharge your wishes. Welcome your allies. Be your own lodestar. With fear and uncertainty at your heels: stretch.
This, I suppose, would be an excellent moment to provide a formula on how to leap from “maybe later, someday, I want to, BUT…” Sorry, no script exists for euthanizing “wishy-washy wanting” and embracing Hell, yes! Want.
But if I were you, I’d start by giving real attention to your gut instincts around career, romance, and self. And when I say attention, I don’t mean in between texts and tweets about what amazing yoga class you took at lunch. Turn everything off and have the courage to sit in some deep, delicious silence. Be with yourself, and let the “want” rise into your consciousness. Your heart. Your head.
What do you really want from a partner? Do you date only a certain type of person—or do you compromise to avoid being alone? What do you really want to do with your career? Maybe it isn’t what you’ve invested the last decade in. And that’s OK—starting fresh is often the truest form of freedom.
Freedom to want what you want is your ace in the hole. Because what you want is not simply what you get—it’s where you’ll be, and who you’ll become.
So work on getting clear about what you want.
Then circle back to the top of this page and lean into it.
Dr. Dowling has spent years helping people live richer, more joyful lives. She has seen firsthand the magical pairing of psychology and life coaching, which allows people to access their happiest selves.
View Dr. Dowling's articles on Mindbodygreen
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